it is dark.
i can hear faintly that others are near.
i am frantically clawing my way toward them.
i am digging upward through the dirt to them.
i've been buried.
it is choking me down here.
i need light.
i want to feel the grass beneath my bare feet.
the breeze on my face.
instead there is dirt under my broken nails.
and i gasp for breath.
i can never seem to get to them.
i am not strong enough to dig some days.
other days i labor endlessly to get toward the light.
never succeeding, but often getting close.
only to have more dirt fall, more ground i need to gain.
i waffle between hot tears and an eerie numbness.
this is how i feel.
like a wild animal.