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Friday, September 7, 2012

.getting better?????.

there is a lot of backstory on this, but i'm going to skip it...
the hot husband told me he thinks i've seemed a little better in the past week.
wha??????
really?
do you have another wife i don't know about that you are speaking of?
no?
me?????
you think i'm doing better?
why? what makes you say that?

and he listed some things.
and i think i went into shock.
see, he was right.
things still suck and are hard. making dinner is just too freaking much for me some nights & sends me into a panic.
BUT, i went to target with zero problems the other night. in and out. got everything on my list.
and i started homeschooling 2 of our girls this week.
(yeah, we homeschool. no, i don't wear denim jumpers. yeah, it's a long story. no, i don't wear a bun with a head covering.)
and they are learning. and doing awesome. and i'm not freaking out about it. granted, the planning is all done - all i have to do is execute it, but still. oh and maybe i called the hot hubby while sobbing having a panic attack last week at the thought of homeschooling. but, this week, i didn't.
and i have all the clothes folded.

i still can't sleep at night. am anxious all.the.freaking.time. and i feel like i am going to truly hurl & panicking at the idea of taking my daughter for her 4 month check-up, which is over due.
and i could not take my older 2 to the dentist, i was flipping at the idea of leaving the house and the hot hubby had to take them. (seriously, the hot hubby is a SAINT.)

but there is some progress.
and the hot hubby sees it.
and this makes me HAPPY.

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