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Monday, August 13, 2012

.stay out of my bra, yo.

let me start by saying i support breast feeding. i think it's wonderful when women are able to & want to.
but, i do not support it if a woman does it because her husband or a dr want her & she feels bullied into it. i do not support it if a woman is doing it solely because she feels pressured into it by friends, family, nurses, etc. those situations do not produce a healthy momma emotionally & mentally. a momma's whole health is crucial to her child's well being. if you can and want to though - go ahead, girl!!!

BUT there are 2 things i have to get off my chest (pun intended).

#1 i don't want to see your nips in public. i don't want to be sitting in a fancy italian restaurant at my wedding rehearsal dinner sipping on my 4th glass of wine while chowing down on manicotti & have your nipple staring at me. (true story) your nipple is not meant for public meal times.  and i don't want to see your nipple when i'm on a hay ride to go pick blueberries. your 3 year old should not just lift your shirt and bra and help herself to a snack while you chat away with your friend and an old man stares with his mouth open because your daughter just leaves your bra and shirt up & you don't pull it down for almost five minutes because "she may still be hungry." (true story) you are not a self serve ice cream machine. at home, go topless for all i care. let the nips show in all their nursing glory. i'm just saying - put a cover over your goods in public or at the very least be discrete. and fyi - this does not hinder you from feeding your baby. don't give me that crap. to formula feed you need to find luke warm to warm water, find your bottle at the bottom of the diaper bag, fill a bottle with one hand, add formula with one hand & shake it up while holding a screaming hungry baby. both feeding options have their "things" about them.

#2 you are not a better mother because you breastfeed. you're just not. breastfeeding police, this is a special note to you.  drop the elitist act. it seriously pisses me off. our church has an infant care room. with my oldest i was actually told by a lady i couldn't go in because it was for nursing mother's only. insert all sorts of words you shouldn't say at church. anyway, it doesn't make you better. stop judging. and you online ladies hating on the bottle momma's saying we should ask for donated breast milk before poisoning our kiddos with formula - all i can say to you is - what the what? and big news flash - bottle feeding mommas love their babies just as much as breast feeding mommas. and it does not make  you selfish to not breast feed. on the contrary, it can be selfish to keep breastfeeding in cases (like if your little one would thrive on hypoallergenic formula, but you keep breastfeeding because it's "best" despite your little one losing & losing weight & having all sorts of problems.) each momma needs to do what is best for her & her baby. stop hating. no, really. stop. my meds are not working like they should and i'm likely to drop you like it's hot. kidding. no i'm not.

now, i know some awesome breastfeeding mommas who are so not falling into these categories. i love you & support you, ladies!
as a momma who has bottle fed all 4 kids for various reasons i'm not hurt by the judgements or feeling guilty anymore for not nursing. my girlies turned out awesome. my kindergartner reads at a 3rd grade level. so obviously the formula didn't hinder her smarts. i am angry at the judgements (like you cannot tell!) i am angry that mommas don't support one another. this momma stuff is hard. so hard. why don't we hold one another up instead of tearing one another down for our choices? the majority of us are doing the best we can. we love our kids with all we are. let's stay out of each other's bras.

ppd is not helped by others trying to guilt you or make you feel like you are not up to par as a mother. you are already well aware of your short coming. too aware. it's all you can think of at times. you can think you should kill yourself, so your kids can have a new & better momma some days. it's a dark place this ppd. with 1 in 8 women experiencing ppd to some degree - watch who you say what to. you may trigger something. mommas need support. breastfeed & bottlefeeding mommas alike.

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