Tuesday, August 7, 2012

.rocking the random.

*speedos = no. stop it. i had to turn off men's diving last night. i was was anxious watching it that a guy would do what poor greg louganis did. and i just couldn't take the speedos. gag me with a spoon, yo.
*we are supposed to attend a wedding thursday. i'm getting all sorts of crazy about how i'll look. too fat seems to be the answer. and too white. i'm pasty white. i burn and then it turns back to pasty white. thank you jargons natural glow. i heart you. but seriously, i'm struggling with anxiousness re: the wedding & i'm too white.
*i'm afraid i'm going to be andrea yates. when i first was diagnosed with ppd i didn't know anything about it. so i googled it. found postpartum progress. side note - that site is freaking amazing!!!! visit it here. i also found some stuff that freaked me out. anyway, in some of my more crazy lady moments i can think i have postpartum psychosis & will suddenly be andrea yates. i've maybe freaked out on the hot hubby about this yelling & crying that everyone will hate him like russell yates because of me. sigh. my sanity? sometimes it just straight up flies the coop.
* i'm over friends who have gone mia in this. today it's pissing me off rather than making me sad.
*i'm really glad bob costas doesn't have the same bad hair/ toupee dye job he did during the winter olympics. good job, buddy.
*yesterday afternoon & eve were actually ok! nothing major. i struggled thru making dinner, but overall it wasn't as bad as it has been. : ) holla!
*hardly anyone i know is in the know about this blog. i needed a space to let it out. i love the ppd blog community. so many inspiring ladies. is that weird of me?
*i couldn't go grocery shopping this week. too hard. i'm back to not wanting to leave the house ever. up & down. up & down.what a dollar coaster this is.
*i laugh every single time i think about dr. hairy sacks. no lie.
*i want to do a post about my faith & how this has impacted it, but it has not been flowing. i also want to do a post about what my husband does for a living & how that is impacting this, but that is not flowing either. probs because it's all intertwined & i haven't figured it out yet.
*i could snuggle the muffin all day.

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